Guest Post – McMaster

by rittyrich

From time-to-time, we’ll be featuring friends, acquaintances, guests, who we’ve invited to share their thoughts on golf.  Though we do not necessarily endorse their opinions, we do tolerate them.  

Hey guys, it’s D.P. McMaster, III checking in.  Friends call me McMast.  Girlfriends call me McBlast.

Been meaning to tell y’all about my Adam Scott revelation.  Shame I couldn’t be there to see his big victory in person this year.  Broke my streak of 7 straight trips to Augusta when my lame old man gave my passes to a client.  Worked out though.  On the Citation on the way back over, they closed a deal.  Gonna guess it involved a $20 million handshake.  The old man tried to appease me by bringing back a couple Masters hats that had “2013” on them.  Had to explain to the dude that only poor people wear Masters gear to a tournament they didn’t go to.   I’m not from Africa, bro.

I'm so white!

I’m so white!

So what’s not to like about this Adam Scott guy?  He’s rich.  He’s white.  Got a cool accent.  Dresses to the nines.  Reminds me of myself actually, which inspired that burning sensation deep in my gut that I like to call my Golf MoJo.

I was in the office watching some Masters highlights on the YouTube when I decided to leave a stack of work on my secretary’s desk and head out to The Club for an early lunch.  Got my usual – rare filet sandwich, blue cheese, arugula, on French Bread (all off the menu, of course), side of fries, two Budweisers in a can.  Been trying to get them to name that meal the Big McMaster for two years.  No luck.

I was eating my sandwich, checking the Net, and saw Adam Scott’s “what’s in the bag” over on the W-R-X.  Dude is playing the 710 MB’s with KBS Tours.  I like his style.  Personally I’ve been gaming the AP2’s but I got the HC down to a 9.9 and it’s time for a change.

KBS-Tour-C-Taper-Steel-Shaf

Ordered another Bud Heavy and took it down to see the Irish puke of a golf pro we have.  He had the 712 MB’s on the rack with True Temper shafts.  Boring, but close enough.  Charged the $1000 to my number (007, owww! – thanks G’Dad), then special ordered the KBS Tour shafts, 1* up, 1/4” of extra grip, 1/2” long.  I asked if we carried Aquascutum and that Mick just blinked at me.  Took it as a no, took the new clubs to the practice facility.

Problem is our goddamned range is in terrible condition. The range balls suck, too.  The chongos running this place haven’t changed those things out in over a month, so I went to my Titleist staff bag, pulled out a handful of Pro-V’s, teed a few up, and whacked the last one with a 7-iron like 195.  Melted f’ing butter.

Took that MoJo to #1.  Shot 93.  Must be the shafts.  Gonna wait for the KBS Tours to come in.

Anyway, got a big board meeting in a few days.  Townhall style.  Gonna be epic.  I’ll fill y’all in when it goes down.  Until then, stay in the fairway, and don’t wear white belts unless you’re a homo.

— DPM, III

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