Ode to a Boner

by TheRealAC

Since my BRITISH Open pick of Louis Oosthuizen blew up in my face, my penance was to write a love poem to my old buddy Lee Westwood. For those of you who don’t know, I despise Lee Westwood. I actually have much respect for his game and what he’s accomplished, but there is just something about him that makes me want to punch him in his suck hole. So here it goes. It probably sucks as bad as you do, Lee, on Sunday at a Major. 

Hey Lee Westwood!
Win a tourney? Yes you could!

You really do hit the ball very well
Even though your eyesight is not so swell

I like that your clubs are PING
And I really do like your golf swing

This year you have never missed a cut
I really like the club you use to putt

You hit the ball long and straight
Hey, I see a major in your fate!
At any rate,
If you win a major, I’ll take you out on a date
That would open the flood gate
Normally I hate,
But don’t bite on the bait
For that Major, we’ll all wait.

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